I can barely believe that I'm here.
Having applied for this residency in 2019, and having originally been accepted and scheduled to visit in 2020 (you can guess what happened to that plan) makes being here now a bit surreal. It's been a place in my imagination (and in my social media feed) for years, so now, standing on the grounds in person, meeting all of these incredibly inspiring, creative folks... I've been a bit speechless since I arrived!
The arrival day, welcome gathering and first full day were wonderful but a bit overwhelming for this introvert, if I'm honest. After a social breakfast and a big errand run (we're about 45 minutes away from a larger town with shops etc - this 'town' has a population of about 70 from what I understand!) and lunch with the group as well yesterday, I went up to my studio thinking, ok, this is the moment you can finally start making something! And then.... nothing. My energy was so spent that I just sat down and started worrying. I worried about the light in my studio; I worried about the lack of all the gear that I'm used to having at my fingertips; I worried about how many croissants I'd consumed in the past few days (jk, no such thing as too many croissants) and I started to feel completely immobilized. And then that feeling, of course, led to more serious worries.
What if I came all this way and I can't do this? Like, what if I make nothing while I'm here?
When those kinds of thoughts start wedging their way in, sitting in the studio is a bad idea (for me, at least.) So even though it was the first chunk of time I'd had free to spend in the studio since my arrival, I left. I had a quiet moment in my room in Maison de la Vigne in the village, I went for a wee walk, and I looked for light. Because light always helps.
As I was fleeing the studio and all of my worries, I decided that I'd start the next day out fresh with a wander in the woods to gather some of the natural elements from the area that I could use in a still life. When I'm creatively stuck, or even just energetically stuck, building and photographing a still life is like medicine for me.
A couple of my fellow artists in residence mentioned that they'd be interested in joining, so three of us wandered off down a farm road at the end of town this morning. Walking in the woods with artists is kind of amazing, because no one leaves you behind while you take 27 photos of a slug on the ground, or as you take your time to get juuuust the right shot of that one tree :)
We made it back to the chateau just in time for lunch and a with a fresh cup of coffee, some tunes in my headphones, and all the spoils of my walk laid out in front of me, I felt so much better up in my studio.
And, alas, the light in there actually turned out to be kind of amazing.
25 Comments
Oct 7, 2023, 1:21:40 PM
Aleks - What a magical place! You’re so talented and in tune with your process. I can’t wait to see the creations you come up with!
Oct 7, 2023, 3:38:28 AM
Alexis McKeown - Wasn't it? Thank you for sharing it with me :)
Oct 7, 2023, 3:37:50 AM
Alexis McKeown - Thanks so much for your encouragement, my brother! Excited to share more of this experience with you - I think you and Ideet would LOVE it here. Your should both apply :)
Oct 7, 2023, 3:36:40 AM
Alexis McKeown - Ah thank you so much for coming along on the adventure with me, Tanya! I'm so grateful for my community xx
Oct 7, 2023, 3:36:02 AM
Alexis McKeown - A good one to echo (and remember, always) xoxo
Oct 7, 2023, 3:35:31 AM
Alexis McKeown - Thank you so much, Martine! xo
Oct 7, 2023, 3:35:11 AM
Alexis McKeown - Love you so much, too, Carly! Thank you for feeling some of my feelz for me - I have enough to go around right now, that's for sure ha! Sending you a bunch of the good ones rn xoxoxo
Oct 7, 2023, 3:33:57 AM
Alexis McKeown - I'm so grateful for my community, here with me in spirit :) Thanks, Donna!
Oct 7, 2023, 3:33:20 AM
Alexis McKeown - Thank you so much, Bonny!
Oct 7, 2023, 3:33:01 AM
Alexis McKeown - You always know the perfect thing to say, my friend xoxoxoxo
Oct 7, 2023, 3:32:27 AM
Alexis McKeown - Thanks so much, Cindy!
Oct 7, 2023, 3:31:46 AM
Alexis McKeown - Thanks so much, Lil! I've thought of you often on this trip (évidemment!) Thanks for checking out the blog xx
Oct 7, 2023, 3:30:17 AM
Alexis McKeown - It really is, Deb! Thanks for popping over to the blog :)
Oct 7, 2023, 3:24:32 AM
Kathleen - The light! And that was such an enchanting/ed walk.
Oct 6, 2023, 1:45:24 PM
Dane - day 1...lots to see...lots to settle. so fun to read the words of the heart sis....you made it! you f'ckn made it! let your heart wander in the new light and move through all the cracks and creases of your nature...and the surrounding. I Can't wait to hear more!
Oct 6, 2023, 1:15:23 PM
Tanya - So excited for you Alexis, that read was my little escape among the midst of all too common creative worries! Enjoy every moment x
Oct 6, 2023, 1:05:08 PM
Mom - What Carmen said 👏🤗
Oct 6, 2023, 11:49:59 AM
Martine - So stunning Alexis! A magical gift to follow your incredible artistic talent 💞
Oct 6, 2023, 11:38:17 AM
Carly - Oooh loved reading that…you brought your journey to life through your words and your images! I even felt your worry & self doubt as I know that feeling all too well! So glad you found the light and a fresh cup of coffee, I felt that warmth. Love love love to you ❤️
Oct 6, 2023, 11:26:51 AM
Donna Houston - It looks amazing!! Gorgeous shots and an open heart. Thanks for the raw honesty, the beginning of any creative venture ;) We're all here cheering you on!
Oct 6, 2023, 11:24:20 AM
Bonny Fox - You inspire me to look at the world differently . Enjoy being in the moment in that incredible space,
Oct 6, 2023, 11:02:40 AM
Carmen - Ring the bells that still can ring Forget your perfect offering There is a crack a crack in everything That's how the light gets in. ~ Leonard Cohen You got this!
Oct 6, 2023, 10:58:35 AM
Cindy Ansley - Looks like a beautiful place to worry :) Those photos of light are amazing!
Oct 6, 2023, 10:49:08 AM
LILLIANE FRECHETTE - Oh Alexis, the images are all so stunning! Especially the ones with the light! Creativity can be hard when we try to force it, you really do have to let it come in its' own time and way. You are already creating so much magic! Looking forward to more:)
Oct 6, 2023, 10:26:59 AM
Deb - Looks like a dream come true, Alexis! Ooooo la la - how wonderful!